“Tell me, monster. What should I do? What will it take for those two to acknowledge me?”
If there’s one hidden truth that’s apparent once it’s open, it’s that we all have dark sides. With happiness comes sadness, with joy comes anger. We can’t have yin without yang. However, there’s so many of us who can’t accept that we sometimes have inner monsters. We carry trauma that builds up over time stemming from childhood experiences and begins to take a life of its own when unchecked.
I’m going to talk about a very notable character whose claim to living is their inner monster and that’s Meguru Bachira from Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura’s compelling hit soccer anime/manga series, Blue Lock.
To describe Blue Lock in a nutshell, it’s about young Japanese soccer strikers (players whose specialty is goal-scoring) being chosen to compete in a very rigorous training program called Blue Lock for a chance to become a striker strong enough to help Japan take on and surpass the world’s best soccer teams. Bachira is introduced during a initiation game of tag, where whoever has the soccer ball last in their possession once a specific amount of time expires is removed from the Blue Lock program. Bachira “tags” the series’ main hero, Yoichi Isagi, who had a chance to “tag” a fallen player and drive them out. Instead, Isagi tags a more competent player after Bachira encourages him to “tag” a stronger player. Bachira and Isagi would then form a friendship after that moment, where the former explains to the latter that he has a monster instead of him and is looking for fellow monsters and potential ones in the making, one of which is Isagi. The two would form a team and they looked inseparable.
Instead, Bachira was taken from Isagi after a game in the Second Selection phase of the Blue Lock program due to a rule stating that winning teams in that round can take any one of the losing team’s players. Isagi becomes determined to take Bachira back from the team that took him and also prove himself to that team’s captain, Rin Itoshi. When the time came for Isagi and Bachira to “reunite” in a rematch between the two teams, we finally learn about Bachira’s past.
Bachira grew up really loving soccer more than anything else. He loved it so much that it irked his fellow peers. Bachira became bullied for being a bit too weird about soccer. Bachira’s mother tried to comfort saying that Bachira is following the “monster” inside his heart. That “monster” was imploring him to keep playing soccer since Bachira’s mother had a creative “monster” that drove her work. However, Bachira’s “monster” starts to become problematic as coaches and other players noted how invisible they feel when they play with Bachira. Bachira notices that the people around him don’t have monsters, but he still does and takes pride in it. However, the monster inside him starts to grow into extreme loneliness.
The first time I saw Bachira’s past and the monster, it made me think about one thing – the Hearing Voices network. It’s a mental health support network for people who hear voices in their head, see visions that are out of the norm, and/or have unusual experiences that can get extreme. Individuals facing their conditions are often treated with a lot of disdain and a lack of understanding. They have to deny and suppress their thoughts out of fear of being deemed crazy.
Bachira says that no one understands how he feels and what he sees. He was having a mental health crisis that went beyond depression and anxiety. Something that couldn’t be easily fixed. It wasn’t until he met Isagi that his perspective started to change. Isagi was Bachira’s first real friend.
People talk about how some major mental health problems are caused by brain chemistry and bad genetics. But you know, sometimes, they are caused by a lack of attention when growing up as a child. What if relationships that were supposed to aid in your social development suddenly disappeared when you start to feel differently about things within good reason? What if the one thing you love was suddenly occupied by people who didn’t want to be around you anymore?
Why wouldn’t a “monster” start to appear in the face of terrible social context?
Bachira’s monster was a response to his trauma and it becomes more apparent once the final Second Selection game was played. Bachira notices that Isagi and Rin are starting to eclipse him. He becomes hesitant over how to play during the match. Isagi and Rin’s monsters were on a very different level because they were about surpassing their own limits first and foremost. Bachira also comes to a realization that because of Blue Lock, he doesn’t need the monster anymore and not rely on other “monster” players (like Isagi) to justify himself playing soccer.
Bachira’s words about not needing the monster anymore makes me think about how certain labels can be useful at first, but end up being harmful once they fulfilled their purpose. I don’t know about any of you, but I felt this way when I was struggling with my “clinical depression” label. I carried it to a huge deal, but over the past few years and meeting new people that changed my outlook, I’ve been trying to shed that label slowly. I want to believe that I can still do great things and meet loving people even if my condition says otherwise.
I think about the people who receive mental health diagnoses and have been told that they’re doomed. Next thing you know, their lives spiral out of control. What’s worse is that the people who are supposed to help actually end up doing more harm than good. They get told that there’s some things that are considered stable parts of life (i.e. hold a full-time job, have a romantic relationship, etc.) they can’t do anymore. I think about the discrimination they face when it comes to not being “normal.”
While some things are definitely affected for the worst, I do believe that people with mental health problems are more capable than they think. We can make good lives for ourselves with the support of others who believe the same. We can definitely take on the most basic things alone, but we definitely need people to treat us with compassionate understanding. Blue Lock may not be a mental health clubhouse, but I love how its unique combination of egoism and communal setting changed Bachira. I know there’s definitely people like Bachira out there who want something that drives them to better themselves while bettering others.
And about the monsters inside of us, I think it’s harmful to shame them. You better damn-well acknowledge them like Bachira did. They were doing the best they could to protect you. Though I think about something Bachira’s mother said to Bachira when he was sad – believe in the monster in your heart. Sometimes, the monster in your mind is a lot worse than the monster in your heart. It can rationalize every thing that happens to you in a very binary fashion. The monster in your heart is your true/base desire and I believe Bachira finally awakens to that as he just wants to play soccer with joy no matter what anyone else says.
That’s the kind of monster I want more people to embrace.
